Both pictures I am 11 weeks and 1 day postpartum. Both pictures I have postpartum depression. Both pictures I have PTSD. Both pictures I miss my daughter.
But in the first picture I am hiding. Hiding behind “things”, hiding behind makeup. I never admitted I wasn’t okay. I welcomed death I wanted nothing but to be with Leilani.
In the second picture I still get grief attacks, I still miss my daughter but I don’t wish to be with her. Not because I don’t love her but because I have so much to live for, I am so blessed.
I NOW know my worth. I now know that losing Leilani wasn’t my fault. I still would give anything to have her but I know that isn’t realistic and when my time comes we shall be together again.
If I wasn’t active before I got pregnant or during my pregnancy I wouldn’t be where I am today.I dropped all the baby weight by week 5! Yes I am still flabby and have a belly but I am no where near where I was after I had Leighton.
My heart is full and I am grateful.
Man I tell y’all get yourself on track! A fitness journey is more than about looks it’s about a spiritual, mental and physical change!