Six

My beautiful girl… today you would be six.. today I should be the happiest woman on the planet because I got to have you for six years! Today I should be excited to celebrate your birthday that fell on a Friday… instead I feel heartache and longing.

Today I miss you more than I did yesterday. Today I feel like the unluckiest woman on the planet. Today I mourn you harder than I did last year. Today is supposed to be a day of love and joy… and I want to do is disappear.

Today my heart hurts like the first day. Today my little one I can picture you behind your cake with a beautiful smile while we sing you happy birthday. But instead I am here crying and heart broken.. because today I feel even more alone without you than the first day. Who am I kidding it doesn’t get easier…. it gets harder.

Today I don’t want to be. Today I just want to be where you are and hold you until you become a part of me again. Today should be your 6th birthday but instead it’s the 6th year I wish I can turn back the hands of time. 

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