Stop Living in Regret!

I have put my body through it but I have no regrets!

I'd do it again. Creating life is such a joy for me, I just wish it was easier on my body.

In total I have gained 160 lbs while being pregnant!

That's crazy my small frame held all that no wonder it was hard on my body.

But here I am today feeling amazing in my skin!

Feeling confident, feeling blessed! No more depression, no more suicidal thoughts no more fears holding me back!

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Don't you want the same for you? Freedom is the best thing ever. Let's make that change together!

Shift your life for the best!

Click the date below to let me know which one you are joining!

Let's get ready next group kicks off July 24th and the next one after that will be August 21st are you ready?

15 years of LOVEEE!

Never ever in a million years did I think I'd be here with you!

We were friends that turned into lovers and then in husband and wife.

We became one, then became three, then became four, then became five….

We have grown up together. We have survived what would break most couples but yet thank to the grace of God and you sarcasm we are still here!
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I am the fighter, the loud mouth, the "crazy" one, while you are the calm, always laughing, always cracking jokes one! TOGETHER we are perfection!
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We balance each other out and I love it!
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You made me wait 10 years before you married me and I thought you were an asshole for it but I am happy our story happened the way it did!
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I wouldn't change not one thing! (Well losing Leilani of course)

Happy anniversary my love 15 years with your crazy ass and it still feels like yesterday!

Thank you for being you, no matter how much I bitch never change you are what makes me complete!

Thank you for accepting me for me and never ever trying to change me!

15 more or nah?

I am Just like YOU!

I am just like you!

I need to fight everyday to feel good. It’s so much easier to wallow in my pain, sadness and failures. I would wonder why me. What had I done in this life to get such a hard card.

 

But not anymore. I now do things to get me happy. … I now focus on the good things I have.  I now remind myself that it’s okay to feel sad, but not okay to stay there.  It has taken me a while to get here but I’ve made it.

 

My fitness journey has made me stronger in all aspects of my life!  So it is now time for me to pay it forward. it is time for me to give YOU the tools I was given to find myself, to love myself, to know that I AM WORTH this life.

 

You too can get here. . Believe that you can and you are half way there. . Join my next “shift your life” group and I’ll help you shift towards the right direction!

 

 We kick off July 24th I have 3 spaces LEFT the next two ladies that sign up with me will get AN AMAZON FIRESTICK FOR FREE!  Let’s GO!

 

Comment I am ready below or email me at stayingfitformyls@gmail.com so I can add you to the group! or  Click here

 

SO excited to help you SHIFT YOUR LIFE!!!!!!

“If I were you I’d still be in bed depressed…”

People always tell me they wouldn't be able to survive what I've been through..

I always get asked "how do you do it? How do you live life like nothing?"

I live my life in a way that I force myself to focus on what I have. Not because I am running away from my reality, but in a way that I keep my sanity.

Honestly and truly if I lived my life based on my feelings well let's just say I probably wouldn't be here.

It's not like "nothing" on the contrary living without Leilani is by far the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Waking up everyday KNOWING a piece of me is gone is so hard.

Why am I sharing this? Well because I feel like there are so many of us who live based on how we "feel". If you continue living based on how you "feel" you'll never get anywhere.

When have you felt like working out?

When have you felt like smiling when all you want to do is cry?

This is where discipline comes in. Force yourself. Don't be hard on yourself but force yourself to do the things you know will make you feel better down the road.

If I can wake up and smile and workout and take care of my humans with a broken heart then you can do the same!

Never doubt your strength.

Sometimes the only choice we have is to be strong.

Your due date. 

Today was your original due date. I was excited and annoyed at the same time because I didn’t want you to have a birthday so close to 4th of July.

Its still crazy to me how you came a whole month early…. damn you thyroid for stealing my little girl. 

It’s crazy how innocent we are. We complain about things that really don’t matter.

Today I would give anything to have you don’t care what birthdate you would’ve had…

One day we will meet again and birthdays or when I lost you won’t matter. All that will matter is that I am with you. 

Thank you for bringing love back into my life…

Today I want to just express my gratitude for you.

Thank you for bringing light into my life.

Thank you for showing me that there is life after death. Thank you for smiling and beaming my world.

Thank you for hugging me when I need it. Thank you for staring into my eyes like no one has ever done.

Thank you for being such an incredible human. You are only two years old today but you have done so much in your little time here.

You saved me buddy. I love you more than life. Thank you thank you thank you.
Happy birthday Leighton Matthias Santana 🎂 🎈 🎉 🌈 ❤️

Oh the irony of your name. Matthias means Gift from God and that’s exactly what you are. THANK YOU!

Milestones

Milestones are a beautiful thing in life. They represent growth and moving on.

I am so blessed to have experienced so many milestones this week.

Liam’s last day of pre-K and Leighton’s birthday is tomorrow.

But yet with all these beautiful moments I miss her. I yearn for her. I wonder what it would’ve been like achieving these milestones with her!

Some may think I am ungrateful but I bet it’s a person whom hasn’t lost someone they love.

Death and loss makes you selfish. Grief makes you selfish, but that’s only because a great love story existed before it was taken away so abruptly.

I am happy and I am blessed but that doesn’t mean I don’t miss her.

I appreciate every single moment, but that will never exclude the hardships or sadness I feel. Never.

Leilani’s legacy

Find your positive!

Not everyday is going to be a good day. 

Today I am feeling hopeless, defeated and in all honesty plain old unmotivated. 

I cried for Leilani, but I also cried because life is beating me up right now…

I decided to workout anyway and low and behold I felt better. 

There will be days you don’t even want to get out of bed but the point of being an adult is doing things you don’t want to do even if you don’t want to. 

Now my mood is better, the problems will always be there it’s all about how you react to them!

Writing makes me feel better too!

What helps you feel better?

“You may not always feel positive, but there is something positive in everything!”

Life goes on…..

Your birthday was Monday….today is Sunday and tomorrow is Monday and it’ll be a week past your birthday.

It’s so hard to understand why time keeps going when you don’t.

I can’t believe that I am saying any of this… I can’t believe that this is my life. I have to admit that I am stronger because I don’t have you.

I have to admit that I am shocked that I have survived this long… But that’s the biggest take away of all.  I have survived.

I miss you and I’d give anything to have you, but since I can’t change that I am making due with what I have. 

I am content where I am, while I better myself daily and continue to live this legacy for my children. 
I miss you Leilani… living on without you is the hardest thing ever but I do it in your honor. 

You live in me. 

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