Taboo

I wear my Leilani on my heart.

I want to ask you a question if you lost a loved one wouldn’t you want to honor them?
Wouldn’t you want to share with the world whatever it is you had with them?

I️ ask because society makes pregnancy loss, baby loss, infant loss DEATH period so taboo.

If we talk about our children it’s only because we loved them so much and wish we could’ve had what we thought we would.

It doesn’t mean we aren’t happy.
It doesn’t mean we don’t believe in God.
It doesn’t mean that we don’t smile.
It doesn’t mean we don’t appreciate what we have.

On the contrary we appreciate even more.

 

We may be more sensitive, irritable, and softees but it’s only because we loved so hard.

A love so full of passion that only tears can express it.

I am Leilani’s mother, voice, and for as long as I️ shall live so does she!

Do you ever pay attention to the voice in your head?

You know that voice in your head that tells you that you can’t do things? Or the one that says you’ll never amount to anything? You know which one.. the one that nags the shit out of you when you are trying to be GREAT!

YEA THAT ONE!

Well that voice controlled me most of my life….just up to recently if I am going to be honest.

This voice has told me:

• that losing my daughter was my fault.
• That I won’t succeed in life.
• That I am just a mom.
• That I am just a dark skinned Hispanic from Brooklyn and success isn’t for me.
• That I am fat and disgusting.
• That I would be better off if I just settled and wait for death.

Yea that voice has been such a hater.

For many years I had let time pass and listened to that voice. I never thought that I would ever amount to anything. I have been settling for anything that I got!

 

BUT here I am a business owner, a mother, a wife, daughter, a sister, a friend, a happiness maker!

I stopped settling. I wake up everyday with a fight in my heart to be HAPPY! I have a huge desire to live and grow. Leilani did that for me. I know that. Yes I lost her and it’s sad but I am a better person because of her.

SHE IS MY HERO, I am her VOICE, and for as long as I live I will achieve greatness FOR HER and me.

Make lemonade out of your life and do the opposite of what that voice tells you, it’ll never tell you anything positive. ON THE CONTRARY you have to feed it positivity every single day.

You have to tell yourself everyday that you can! Sometimes twice a day.

Take it from me life is what you make it. I learned that.

Confessions of an Emotional Binge Eater

My name is Ingrid Anel Santana and I am a recovering Emotional Binge Eater.

If you don’t know what this is you may think it’s an excuse people make to eat. hahaha!
But in all seriousness it sucks. You aren’t even hungry and you want to eat… you eat because it feels good. You eat because it’s comforting!

You eat because it feels like you can control that and give yourself something good. You eat because for a little while you forget what you have going on in life…

But after you are done all that is left is regret.. then the pattern of starving yourself kicks in… You feel that if you starve yourself it’ll makeup for the fact you ate like the world was about to end.

Or you throw up because you are so full that your body’s reaction is to barf.

I have gotten better for the past year and a half I have been on a good streak. I have broken down and stuffed my face like a mad woman but for the most part I have been following my meal plan.

It usually happens when I am grieving Leilani hard, or when I am overwhelmed. But working out and eating healthy has helped even with that.

I will never judge anyone with an eating disorder…it’s not easy there is a reason for it. There is trauma behind it.

I am so glad I made that change! I am so glad I decided to turn it around.

I am here to pay it forward!

I want to help you how I have been helped! If you are ready to make that change JOIN ME!

 

Let’s grow together, let’s put a stop to binge-eating, lets put a stop to emotional eating! LET’S GO!!!!!